Hello.

As you can tell my blog is going downhill.

Like a sled.

So here is a piece on eskimos as narrated and interpreted by patrick jeremy nissim.

here is the eskimo. so noble and snuggly.


there are also eskimo doggies. who too are noble and snuggly, like their more culturally significant masters.


when an eskimo is angered, they often lure their animal friends to throw spears and shit. as shown here in the academic illustration:


here is a close look at my 4th grade social studies diorama

as you can see, Nanuk the eskimo is telling a funny joke to his doggies right before the grim reaper, standing behind him, kills his eskimo ass

here is an eskimo kiss performed by real eskimos of the "lez" tribe!


contrary to poopular belief (lol!) bobby seale was not an eskimo, nor a seal. he was a black panther.

a very black panther.

CURRENCY!!!!


eskimos even believe in da bebeh jeezus. here is an image of mary and joseph with jesus as a baby on a sled (what a FUCKING surprise lol!!!!). there is a penguin there to deliver the baby and a fish to flap on the baby and a lion to growl at the baby. eskimos sure know how to have a good time!!!!




well that about concludes eskimos in their entirety. as for crediting who i stole the pictures from, that is for fucking pussies.

I'm Peeling Like An Onion

hello everyone i know i haven't written in like 3 weeks but whatever we're all grown ups we can wait.

i know EVERYONE has been asking me
"hey how did you get into film school?"
and i say well i sent them this movie. IT'S CALLED SLEEPOVER

here is some light graffiti

an essay from the youth of america

"koalas aren't hard they some little bitches."

a closer look into an 8th grader's perspective on koalas and extinction.

tonight i celebrate...

FLORIDA'S INDEPENDENCE!
(on july 17th, 1821, spain officially turned florida to the united states)

cheers!

you might say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one

as many of you probably don't know, i have recently been trying to scrap together the necessary elements i need to start production on my ambitious j dilla documentary project. besides the inherent difficulty of beginning any particular project, there is also the overwhelming difficulty of having to tackle the costs of music and video licensing. here is the email received from stones throw records about my project inquiry:

JULY 5, 2007

Patrick


Thanks for the reaching out. I can tell your passionate about what you’re doing.

There’s a couple parties interesting in a similar movie but thus far nothing has happened. Once you start to think about all the complications involving rights to video and music, and access to video (dilla was not often on camera) you can imagine what a difficult project it shapes up to be. Add to this the fact that dilla’s estate is still working to get it’s business in order – very complicated behind the scenes.

We can’t offer help to your project, especially based on a single email, but keep us updated.


Thank you

Jeff Jank

although the email was disheartening to an eager and naive college student, it just became clear that this was something i was going to have to work for. i'm trying to raise a rediculous amount of money somehow and these are the only ideas i've come up with so far:

- planning large themed events in san rafael
- investing (...)
- planning a concert
- t-shirts??

so clearly none of those are very good (but i might plan an event, because that sounds so awesome).

if you have any ideas, let me know.

for information on my investment, i give you these:

dillapedia

J Dilla - So Far To Go (feat. D'Angelo and Common)
J Dilla - Crushin (Yeeaaah)
Common - The Light (produced by J Dilla)

florida state of mind

everything is officially up and running over here at college, so "cowboys & indians" is back in business.

first and foremost, i'd like to bring the following items to your attention:

1. this court case is absolutely rediculous
(support the chungs or read more about their case here)
2. artist dan witz is a genius
3. the new p.t. anderson film, "there will be blood", has a brief trailer available here
4. in nairobi, the capital city of kenya, a group of 25 impoverished prostitutes appear to have a natural immunity to the HIV virus

okay.

so i'm all moved in and am hopefully going to begin working on the next episode of "wyoming".

THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO IN COLLEGE:

The Blow - Parenthesis (Rory Phillips Remix

A Tribe Called Quest - The Jam (Consequence Remix)

Wilco - Please Be Patient With Me

out

sesamia street: a glimpse into psychadelic kids t.v.

the 70s was truly the "golden era" of children's television.

1. Lidsville


2. The Banana Splits Show


3. The Bugaloos


[commercial break]


4. Sigmund and the Sea Monsters


5. Wonderbug


6. HR Pufnstuf

florida

Wyoming MiniSeries #1

So as you may or may not have known, this summer my friends and I decided to go on a road trip to Wyoming to stay at Michael Patten's new cabin! Well, lucky for you, I brought my fucking camera. Here is a 3 part (most likely) series of our trip and what happened. The segments are about 6 minutes long and are edited to be somewhat entertaining.

enjoy episode one

few more notes:

1) Georgetown is the team I chose to win the NCAA tournament, so if your team is already out...please send your good vibes over to them. Thank you. My bank account appreciates it.

2) I recently attended a youth film exhibition sponsored by Comcast Cable and I was interviewed. The program is allegedly going to be available on OnDemand, so be sure to catch me bullshit a Q&A and mouth the words "Kill Me" at the end! Fantastic.

3) I am Holden Caulfield.

4) If I could be friends with anyone in the NBA, it would be Gilbert Arenas (note the "Gilbertology" segment)

College: The Film School Series (#1/3)

FLORIDA STATE UNIVERSITY

introduction:
Florida State is one of the three (film) schools I have looked at, visited, and applied to. Located in Tallahassee, FL (the state's capitol), the school is well known for its sports teams, frat parties, and good weather (as long as you aren't there in the summer). However, within this school populated with 20,000+ students, there is a very small group of kids (about 110) who are enrolled in a special program. These selected artists are a part of "The Film School", one of the most selective film schools in the world. With a freshman enrollment quota of 30 film students, the field is quickly and thoroughly cut down by the beginning of February, about 1 1/2 months after "The Film School's" application deadline. Towards the end of February, a small percentage of the initial applicants are examined further with an invitation to an in-person interview with some of the film school's faculty. In the end, only 6% of the applicants are accepted.

fun fact:
The school was funded and created by Florida's legistlature "to prepare men and women for successful careers in the film and television industries". The percentage of jobs acquired out of college is in the high 90%.

notable alumni:
The Film School alumni include screenwriters Ron Friedman (Brother Bear) and Melissa Carter (Little Black Book).

strengths:
- Small number of students
- Only film school to pay for all production costs
- Solid faculty
- High percentage of students acquiring jobs after college

weakness:
- Location, location, location (Tallahassee is so damn boring)

status: ACCEPTANCE PENDING (film program has given the green light, however the actual school needs to clear my transcript and SAT scores)

MeedyOkur

my week:

saturday-monday

FSU Film Interview: What a boring town Florida State lives in, but I like the school. My interview went pretty well and after responding passionately to a hard pressed question, one of the interviewers chimed, "remind me you said that over the next few years". A sign? If I heard or remember the quote correctly, you bet your assah.

tuesday-now

lacrosse, rod's birthday, and nothing.



But I must have learned SOMETHING right?
sure.

[1] High School is for lovers
[2] There is a restaurant in SF (Nopa) that serves good food until 1 A.M.
[3] Behind Britain, studies show that America's children are the worst-off


number of the week: 6% (as in the percentage of applicants accepted into the FSU Film Program)